A team of engineers walk into a venture capitalist’s office with a pitch for a business idea. Their hope is to get funding to launch their business.
VENTURE CAPITALIST: So, tell us about your business idea
We start out by creating an open development environment where every team member can commit code and make changes to the product. There are a few guidelines but for the most part we use a ticketing system and everyone is their own boss when it comes to individual tasks.
There are no passwords and everyone gets access to the private key for our AWS Cloud Account. No one has left yet but we don’t have a plan for locking down the system when someone leaves. One time we were offline for a day because our developers didn’t know how to deal with a root drive that filled up on one of our Linux hosts.
Also we have lots of different code that comes from different places. Some of them are third party developers in far-flung parts of the world that hate commercialism and aren’t big fans of Corporate America. A few times one of our developers rooted us for fun just to show his friends.
Some of our stuff is really poorly written. It’s using scripts we had someone write a few years ago and then we forgot how they work, but they seem to work for all of our continuous integration. As long as we never reboot the system and leave the firewall wide open, it will just work with the third party tie-ins through HipChat and GitHub.
Also, our Sysadmin is a convicted felon. He has to wear an ankle bracelet and isn’t allowed within a bank because he once hacked into the Automated Clearing House system and canceled a bunch of transactions. He hates business people and has extreme political views and RON PAUL tattooed underneath his neckbeard.
Finally, we have no idea what we are doing.
VENTURE CAPITALIST (*shuddering*): What do you call your business?
LEAD ENGINEER: DevOps.